Councillor Tomato Cooked Over Transparency Push

Tamworth’s very own Councillor Tomato has today reached previously unseen shades of red after a colleague dared to suggest that council should actually answer community questions in public.

Eyewitnesses report that the councillor’s face, already famous for its steady migration from “rosé blush” to “fully ripe Roma,” deepened to a fresh shade of crimson as he proudly adjusted his lapel pin — a decoration locals say was “handed out like fun-sized Mars Bars on Halloween.”

“Transparency is dangerous,” the councillor allegedly fumed. “If we start answering questions in public, who knows what might happen? Next thing you know, people will expect accountability.”

The incident has sparked comparisons to a well-known federal MP, locally dubbed The Beetroot for his vascular complexion. Residents are now taking bets on who will win this unofficial produce-based arms race.

“At this rate, the Beetroot might have to rebrand,” said Shazza from South Tamworth, spotted outside Big W. “He’s got serious competition from the Tomato. Maybe they’ll form a salad coalition.”

Local lawn bowls stalwart Bluey McKenzie (64) was less diplomatic: “Look, I don’t care what shade his face is — if he can’t handle a few bloody questions from ratepayers, maybe he should swap the lapel pin for a high-vis and have a crack at something useful.”

Council insiders say they are considering installing misting fans at meetings to cool the councillor down before he achieves full capsicum red. Meanwhile, locals remain hopeful that one day their representatives will be more focused on public scrutiny than polishing their lapel pins.

This article is entirely fiction. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental.