Cloud with a chance of potholes

Tamworth drivers are once again bracing for suspension-snapping chaos after a single day of rain has turned local roads into what experts are calling “an interactive obstacle course for the unwilling.”

Witnesses say potholes began appearing before the clouds had even cleared, with some sections of road now resembling World War I trench systems.

“I dodged one near Peel Street and three more popped up like mushrooms,” said local bloke Shazza. “I reckon the bastards multiply when you hit ’em.”

Over in Hillvue, Dazza claims his Commodore is on its last legs.

“Mate, I’m just treating it like a hire car now. No point swerving anymore, just line up the shallowest one and send it.”

For Kev, the potholes are at least keeping the kids entertained.

“They reckon the school run feels like Dreamworld now. Bit of splash, bit of airtime, and Dad swearing the whole way. Cheaper than a holiday, I guess.”

Council has confirmed a “swift response,” which usually involves a man named Gav tipping cold mix into the holes until the next shower.

“It’s a cycle,” explained Gav. “We patch ’em, it rains, they open back up. Job security, really.”

Meanwhile, local mechanic Macca says business is booming.

“Every drop of rain’s another caravan payment for me. Keep it coming, Mother Nature.”

With the forecast clear for now, locals are taking bets on which street will collapse first when the next storm hits.

“Tamworth’s got the Golden Guitar, the Country Music Festival, and now the Great Pothole Safari,” grinned Shazza. “Might as well whack it on a brochure.

This article is completely made up.