Local MP Connects Peel River Directly To Zinger Box

A local state MP has stunned colleagues in parliament this week by delivering the kind of economic insight you just can’t put a price on: chickens need water, and Tamworth has three KFCs that need chickens.

“Business is important to Tamworth business,” the MP proudly declared, before pivoting to poultry science. “Chickens don’t just grow on trees — they need water, and chicken farms need water. Without water, there’s no chicken. Without chicken, there’s no KFC. And I don’t think any of us want to live in that kind of Tamworth.”

Locals say they were relieved to finally hear the dots joined between the Peel River and a family bucket.

“It’s not the potholes, rates or housing crisis that keeps me up at night,” said Darren, 52, who owns a tyre shop on Goonoo Goonoo Road. “It’s the thought of pulling into KFC and being told they’re out of popcorn chicken. That’s when you know society has collapsed.”

Residents also noted the MP’s repeated mention that Tamworth has three KFCs, which he described as “a symbol of both growth and prosperity.”

“Other towns have one, maybe two if they’re lucky,” he told parliament. “But Tamworth has three. And it’s my job to make sure they never run dry.”

At press time, the MP was reportedly drafting his next bold policy statement: “Chips are important for people who like chips.”

This article is 100% false. Any connection to a real business or person is not factual.